HALT! Before you continue your journey, I’d like to introduce you to the worst CAPTCHA I’ve ever encountered.
As a self-proclaimed connoisseur of awful CAPTCHAs, this is a significant find. I imagine this is what it feels like for a biologist to discover a new animal species in the wild.
HALT! Before you continue your journey, I’d like to introduce you to the worst CAPTCHA I’ve ever encountered.
As a self-proclaimed connoisseur of awful CAPTCHAs, this is a significant find. I imagine this is what it feels like for a biologist to discover a new animal species in the wild.
Why do I hate CAPTCHAs? Because they are inaccessible, terrible UX and are the digital equivalent of the Bridgekeeper in Monty Python and The Holy Grail.
I’ve written about them before if you care to learn more: CAPTCHA and the B.I.T.C.H-100
Anyway — Welcome to the BridgeKeeper (not it’s real name) *
“Before the Other Side of This Bridge You See, Must First You Answer My Questions Three” (6 Questions)
This is how it works. If you have vision, you get to ‘solve’ the maze test and get the train to the destination co-ordinates. The destination, with the easy to remember and totally-thought-up-by-a-human co-ordinates of “23 Spatula”.
You do this by using the back and forward arrow keys until the little train docks at the aforementioned 23 Spatula. Be careful not to send your train to “22 No Planes Allowed”! Or God forbid “20 Pegasus-Eagleish-Bird” otherwise you are not a human and will never reach your destination. How embarrassing for you, robot.
“Ha! Easy!”, you say, simple human. Yes, the FIRST test is easy. But — to prove your humanity to the BridgeKeeper, you must finish another FIVE.
Oh, and they appear to get progressively harder each time. I even encountered one that was impossible to complete.**
Thankfully, they have a sound option too, if you can’t do the visual one, or want to change it up and torture your ears instead.
However, the sound CAPTCHA is equally as hard. It plays a series of discordant tunes, reminiscent of a broken children’s music box. The tunes would sound right at home creating an eerie ambiance in a horror film.
To pass the test, you must listen to a series of tunes and pick the one that is ‘repeating’. Oh, and all the tunes kinda sound like they are repeating. Oh, and there are another five tests after this.
In Summary
The BridgeKeeper (not its real name) blends complexity and poor design in a masterful mix that elevates this CAPTCHA beyond a mere Turing Test to a bona fide Work of Art that makes the user question their very humanity. Bravo.
* I have no idea what its name is because I can’t find who developed it. YET… (ominous, discordant music starts to play…)
** Guess I’m a robot now.
HALT! Before you continue your journey, I’d like to introduce you to the worst CAPTCHA I’ve ever… was originally published in Bootcamp on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.